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What a speedy beginning to the December it has been!

Today's topic emerged from the theme of energy wellness, which is essential for our many life transitions, especially now during the holidays.

In my recent interactions and exchanges here, I've heard a common theme of respective identity roles and personal transitions that have begun to weave with simultaneous transitions of their loved ones. And these overlapping changes feel like they are happening at "warp speed." Some examples are below:

• New parent to a newborn/toddler
• Caregiver to one or both aging parents
• Temporary carer for children (as a job, i.e., teacher), pets (either personally or as a job), or another individual who needs attentive care
• Source of support (in many ways) for a family member undergoing a huge life transition (change in health, aging/retirement, break-up/divorce, etc.)
• Pillar of support for friend/friends group in their current circumstance (same as reasons above)

The list can go on...

Raise your hand if any ring true for you! 🙋🏻‍♀️

Let me know if there is one you're grappling with, or one not on the list, you're experiencing now.

Personally, being a more active support to aging parents is a resounding yes in my experience. I know it's something that I've had to integrate into my way of life, and it's had its fair share of rewards and challenges.

Like every situation, there are two sides to the coin, whether experienced as good or bad.

I know we have all felt it: The impact of a transition that occurs for someone we are deeply attached to and care about can make it feel like we are going through "vicarious life transitioning."

Vicarious Life Transitioning

I don't know if this term is valid or put together elsewhere, but I did search for it, and nothing shows up. So that means I've coined it here for us to use!

I remember my time working in the hospital with patients. My fellow nursing colleagues would converse and express how difficult it is to be an emotional support especially for the patients who were experiencing more challenges than others. (That's where our psychotherapy department came in and so we had constant referrals!)

During this same time, a dear nursing colleague, who was in the army and still very much connected to it, said this to me after she left a patient's room:

A few deep breaths and friendly chatter later, we calmed everyone down, and the patient and staff received what they needed in their care.

Honestly, this quote stayed with me and was the medicine of wisdom I've learned from her during my work at the hospital and even now. Her reflection matches the mindful seeing needed in these moments.

This brief exchange can reflect what vicarious life transitioning can mean: One person's (patient) life-changing health life transition, layered with an existential life transition, is reacting with another person's (my colleague, patient's family member, etc.) day-to-day transition and potential reminder of previous and current life transitions and similarly related trauma (and it can even trigger vicarious trauma as well).

We can also say it pokes at the anticipatory anxiety of what the future holds for both patient and caregiver.

The overall message is that the shared transitions are all interconnected, and the continuous activation of that unconscious material potentially leads to a symbolic battle within oneself and with another.

The "War Zone"

War zone is an intense word for an opposing conversation with another person. And yet, it can describe the cosmic energy highlighted at this time, with potential tension and resolve arising within our many kinds of relationships.

When we consider this idea, it can feel like war zone energy in navigating not only our own personal life transitions but also in helping our loved ones navigate that terrain.

There is also the potential for peace and healing in these overlapping transitions. But in reality, to calibrate towards that peaceful exchange, there will be many minefields and unknowns regarding how to be and get to that peaceful and balanced state.

The imaginings of this scene might be a lot to take in, but again, it speaks to the inner war we can have inside ourselves and with others. And then, we add a life transition or change in the mix, and a lot is happening at the same time!

Each interaction we have with any person is unique to that person alone. Yet, the resonance of relational energy and experiences can emerge in other interactions.

A child's relationship with their mom is on a different level than, say, the relationship with their dad or another caregiver. We see this dynamic play out with others who, on our end, consciously or unconsciously, remind us of those relationships.

So, when we look at the analogy of a war zone, it makes me think of how we suit up with our protective armor and gear when we travel to unknown areas during times of uncertainty.

Projection and Protection

As I sit longer with these two words, it's funny how closely tied these two concepts can be. As I was writing "protection," the word "projection" came forward because of a typo, so lo and behold, there is a reason they've popped into our discussion today!

In psychology, ​projection​ is "displacing one’s feelings onto a different person, animal, or object. The term is most commonly used to describe defensive projection — attributing one’s own unacceptable urges to another."

In other words, in certain situations, we unconsciously project our uncomfortable traits onto others to avoid confronting and acknowledging those traits within ourselves.

Projection is a defense mechanism that offers protection for those instances when we are not quite ready to work with that material consciously.

This brings us back to what protective gear we put on when navigating unknown terrain, such as life transitions.

When we go through a life transition, so much rises to the surface of what that unknown terrain can bring to us. Then we have a loved one's life transition, mixed with so many new and forthcoming transitions, which can also shake us to our core on what that means for us, too.

Though we may not directly experience that exact life transition, we are indirectly holding that space, and that space can bring up all sorts of feelings for everyone involved.

What mindset shifts, spiritual practices, or physical movements do you "wear" to protect yourself and cultivate protection and growth when interacting with others?

Sit with this one for a while. I know this is soaking in for me right now!

The White Flag of Surrender, Peace, and Balance

It's interesting how that exchange with my previous colleague showed up in this week's article.

It is a fitting story about not only how we can, unconsciously or consciously, take on the transitions of our loved ones but also how this aligns with the cosmic energies of opposition at this time between relationships and our sense of Self and identity.

This brings us back to what surrender, peace, and balance mean for us as we work with the blessings and lessons of our loved one's life transition.

Our many life transitions overlap, and there will inevitably be "a stirring of the waters" when it comes to the wide-ranging memories and emotions that come forward.

There is a warrior spirit, curiosity, nonjudgment, and compassion to embody when it comes to discovering what balance can mean - even if it's just for a mindful moment that can bring everyone closer to that desired peace.

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As always, take what resonates with you and leave out the rest.

Peace and Strength to You,

Putri

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